Fast Food Dates
by Collie Parkillo
Summary: In which Maya Fey finds out that Franziska von Karma, prosecutor extraordinaire, has never had a burger. [maya/franziska]


Franziska smoothed down the wrinkles in her dress with one hand, chewing her lip somewhat nervously. She caught herself doing it immediately and sighed; she'd been trying to get rid of all the possible nervous habits she could have. Prosecutors weren't supposed to have nervous habits that could let the defense know they weren't one hundred percent confident.

This is a date, Franziska reminded herself. Not a trial. She'd spent far too long worrying herself over what to wear, and had settled on a dark blue dress she didn't even really like. A date with Maya Fey, nonetheless. It's not likely to be terribly formal.

Just as she was thinking that, the Maya Fey in question's voice broke her out of her train of thought. "Hell-oooo. Earth to Franziska. I've been standing here for like, a minute."

"Oh. Perhaps I didn't notice someone as commonplace as you among the commonplace scenery."

Maya pouted. "Why d'you gotta be so snobby? I mean, it's cute, but we're going on a date." Franziska darkened at the use of the word cute. "Ha! You're not as cold hearted as you think you are, look at you blushing like that!" Maya wrapped her arm around the other woman, making a kissy face at her.

"You are disgusting," Franziska said, but her tone was affectionate.

"I love you, too."

It was funny, because they'd been a 'thing' as Maya so eloquently put it, for about a month, but somehow had never been on a date due to Franziska's busy schedule. "So, what fine establishment are we going to?"

"It's a surprise! You have to cover your eyes until we get there."

"I refuse to partake in childish games."

"Oh, come on, Franziska. Just this once."

Franziska sighed in faux exasperation. "Fine. Only for you, Maya Fey." Maya grinned, then pulled out a piece of dark purple cloth and reached over to tie it around Franziska's head. Franziska still felt a bit of embarrassment at the other girl being so close to her face, so close that she could lean in to kiss Maya right there and right now. Not that she had enough nerve to. It was always Maya who kissed her, not vice versa.

Maya's fingers strayed distractedly in her hair while finishing tying the bandanna. "I know my hair is distracting, but we are pressed for time."  
>"You've got the day off, we've got all the time in the world." Never the less, Maya finished up and then grabbed Franziska's hand, pulling her along behind her. "You aren't wearing your gloves." The observation sounded somewhat surprised.<p>

"I thought that you would like to simply hold my hand," Franziska replied.

"That's so romantic! I didn't think you had that in you!"

"Thank you for your vote of confidence."

Maya laughed. Franziska had never fully gotten used to Maya's sheer_ loudness._ She spoke loudly, laughed loudly, even chewed loudly. Franziska considered herself to be a fairly imposing woman, but the moment Maya entered a room it seemed as though everyone else was less important simply because of the big steps she took and the way her eyes shone even when she was sad.

"Okay, we're here!"

"That was much faster than expected. Perhaps I passed this special place driving here."

"You take all the fun out of everything. Maybe we should just eat at your house." Franziska could tell from her tone that she didn't really mean it.

"I cannot see, but my impeccable prosecutor sense tells me you are making that pout that makes your face looks like a chipmunk, which is, if I may, incredibly adorable."

"I call bribery on that one. Alright, you get your eyesight back now!" Maya tugged at the bandanna, apparently unable to untie her own knot. "There you go!" Maya waved her hand at the building in front of them.

"What…is this?"

Maya looked shocked. "Don't tell me you've never been to McDonald's before!" Everybody's been here! Even Edgeworth's been to McDonald's before!"  
>Franziska eyed the colorful posters featuring various fast foods. "Burgers," she said. "I see why you wanted to come here. Very romantic."<p>

"Oh, shut up. Come on, the faster we get in, the faster we can get food!" Maya grabbed her arm again. "Wow, I can't believe you've never been to McDonald's. You're, like, the best lawyer ever, and you haven't even been to the biggest fast food chain in the country! Hasn't someone been murdered here at least once?!"

Franziska fought back a smile. "I've never been here because it appears to be a restaurant for common folk like you."

"You know, I don't have to get you anything at all! I'll wait in line, though, you can sit down. I'm thinking you want black coffee."

"Very intelligent of you, Miss Maya." Franziska sat herself down in one of the spinning plastic chairs. She looked up at the ceiling contemplatively. "I'll have a burger, too."

"Really?!"

"Yes. I would like a burger."

"If you say so." Before long, Maya was back with a cup of coffee and two white paper bags stamped with the McDonald's logo. "Here you go! I got you just a regular burger, if you like it you can progress to more sophisticated ones."

"I was unaware that there were levels of sophistication for burgers." Franziska sipped her coffee, watching Maya scarf down the hamburger in front of her in record time. She tentatively took a bite of her own. It was…rich. There was some sort of meat juice coming off of the ham. She wasn't one for slang vocabulary, but the only word that came to mind was 'juicy.' Soon she found that she could fit the whole thing in her mouth in one bite. That wasn't a very good idea, but it was possible.

After swallowing, she reached around in the bag a bit more, and her hand hit something hard. "Maya, what is this?" She pulled the offending object out.

Maya stared at it for a few seconds. "Franziska, you got the Steel Samurai keychain! I've been trying to get that for like years! Please, I'll trade you for anything, can I have it?"

Franziska looked puzzled. "Of...course. If you would like it. It's foolish to have a toy in one's food."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Maya leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, then whispered in her ear. "Hey, Franziska, in return, I have a joke for you."

"I'm not sure I want to know."

"How did the jury find the hamburger?"

"Guilty of third degree murder?" Franziska guessed.

"Grill-ty as charred!" It was undoubtedly the worst joke Franziska had ever heard, but she found herself struggling not to laugh. Finally, it was too much to hold it in, and Franziska von Karma absolutely howled with laughter. Maya was laughing equally hard, and it took Franziska a few minutes to realize that she'd spilled coffee on her dress and there were tears in her eyes from laughter.

"M-maya…that was...horrible...you are the least funny person I've ever laid eyes on…" However, the sentence was spoken between gasps of laughter.

"You're laughing, too! Do you want to get another burger?"

Franziska decided that perhaps a date at a fast food restaurant wasn't so bad.

* * *

><p><strong>im playing justice for all right now and maya and franziska should date. also yeah i spent like 2 and a half years trying to come up with a title for this. <strong>


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